The Dance.

The Dance has remained static for a while. Quite a while, actually.

Men pursue, women choose.

Because women have eclipsed men their superiority has created a tension between formerly accepted dance moves and the new reality.

What to do when you are a woman accustomed to being out front socially and at work, but unaccustomed to taking the romantic lead?

What are the new steps for men previously used to being on top?

Is there some way to keep the dance the same with the new power gradient?

Energy Grid

Under the heading of “None of us is born with any understanding of what makes good or bad relationships” comes this idea.

Of the many characteristics to look for in a potential coupling-mate, a matching energy level – quantitative and qualitative – is high on the list.

By the simple act of even looking for such a thing, we increase our chances of finding a right person.

Choose. Carefully.

There is no unhappiness like the despair of choosing the wrong person.

This kind of gut-emptying unhappiness grows like bacteria in a petri dish set on a hospital window-ledge – everything we touch aligns to force the fact of our poor decision squarely in our face. It’s brutal. There’s no escaping the self-recrimination, and every other kind of recrimination too.

Why did we find that person worthy of our energy? Why did we overlook the glaring shortcomings? What the HECK was I doing ignoring all the telltale signs of incompatibility? Why did I donate my heart only to be reward with heartache?

Fear not, you aren’t the first. (Like that’s any kind of salve.) Be comforted by this; that you aren’t the relationship pro you thought you were, and amateurs always make mistakes. Beginners’ luck is fun, but nothing beats acquiring a few skills and some knowledge.

Questions to ask yourself first: Podcast #64

We all manipulate people we’re close to into answering questions in the way we want. In this week’s podcast, Kregg and I figure out what’s going on with:

Does my butt look big in this?

or

Do you wish I was more sensitive?

Is singlehood better than couplehood? Podcast #63

The rise of advocates against marriage need a counterpoint. Kregg and I work towards a basis for why they’re wrong, and why their view of marriage is distorted.