Coupling: Podcast #12

Doubtless, most of us want to couple-up. Coupling is good for you. Coupled people live longer. Coupled people are more satisfied. Couples have glossier hair. But there are some downsides and caveats.

Give it a shot…the podcast, that is.

Kregg’s website…not just conflict management.

 

Stoics

the-stoic-warrior

In my experience, women have no interest in exploring why men are the way they are. You accept us as accessories and ask your girlfriends about us when we displease you. Men, on the other hand, have the same reaction to women as they do to a complicated piece of software or machinery, which is:

What is she doing now? And why?

Unfortunately for us, we are as likely to seek peer advice about women as we are about that tricky new developer app. Less so, in fact. No man in our history has ever called a buddy and said:

Hey, dude. Hortense seems uptight that I offered to drive her and her girlfriends to the theater tonight. What’s up with that?

Alone we remain, turning the facts over again and again.

# I want H to have a nice time.

# She’s going to watch that movie with the gals.

# I figured it’s a nice thing to drive them and pick them up.

# That way they can relax and not worry.

# Isn’t this a good thing?

…and repeat. Where is the flaw in this logic?

If only we’d present this to a buddy. He’d say,

Yep. Hermione does the same thing. It’s unfathomable.

And we’d feel better.

It’s OK

We talk about dating as if it’s a fait accompli, that everyone is looking for someone. Say it is not so, Hortense, because it isn’t; not every singleton out there is on the prowl.

This is another case of the coupled gently pressuring the uncoupled. They, The Togethers, say things like:

So, what are you doing to find someone?

or

Gosh, I know this person who’d be great for you.

or even

Aren’t you lonely?

Ummmm, nothing, not interested and no, actually. (This being the opposite of that horrid movie “Love Actually” which was nothing about love or actuality.) Sometimes people are content to be unattached, and that’s that.

They’ll emerge in their own good time.

Destination or Road Trip?

Karen Nyberg

There appears to be a large number of single folks who think of dating as a permanent state of being. For them, heading out (or staying in) with consecutive new people is the reason for dating. I can only guess that at some point they figure one of them will stick, and they’ll work it out from there.

The analogy that comes to mind is that of the International Space Station. The hardy souls who spend up to a year whizzing around the joint in a glorified tin can seem pretty happy, and no doubt it’s an awesome experience. Eventually though, they must come back down to earth.

Not least among the problems of long-term micro-gravity are the effects on the human body. Bone loss, muscle atrophy, fluid redistribution and – interestingly – an inability to cry freely (because the tears glob together) are all well documented.

Of course, if you are happy in the dating milieu, go for it. Indeed, if you’re in that sweet-spots of being less than 25, or over 50,  lots of dating is a good thing. But it’s worth noting that coming back down to earth for a serial dater might be painful. Commitment is much like gravity, in that it does restrict you and it does require effort to overcome.

However. Our minds and bodies were designed to be under gravity’s influence. Both our mental and physical health are maximized here on earth. I make the case that being coupled has the same effect…in the long term, that is, even if the view is incredible from up there.

* The photo is of Astronaut Karen Nyberg. I guess the credit belongs to NASA, and I apologize if that is not the case.

What Women Want?: Podcast #11

Delving into motivations is a murky and uncertain business, especially when you are men pondering women. We here at Kiss & Blog are prepared to get sticky and do so, fearlessly.

Ten simple qualities women want in their men.

Kregg’s the man to untangle your thinking about yourself and your relationships.