In my experience, women have no interest in exploring why men are the way they are. You accept us as accessories and ask your girlfriends about us when we displease you. Men, on the other hand, have the same reaction to women as they do to a complicated piece of software or machinery, which is:
What is she doing now? And why?
Unfortunately for us, we are as likely to seek peer advice about women as we are about that tricky new developer app. Less so, in fact. No man in our history has ever called a buddy and said:
Hey, dude. Hortense seems uptight that I offered to drive her and her girlfriends to the theater tonight. What’s up with that?
Alone we remain, turning the facts over again and again.
# I want H to have a nice time.
# She’s going to watch that movie with the gals.
# I figured it’s a nice thing to drive them and pick them up.
# That way they can relax and not worry.
# Isn’t this a good thing?
…and repeat. Where is the flaw in this logic?
If only we’d present this to a buddy. He’d say,
Yep. Hermione does the same thing. It’s unfathomable.
And we’d feel better.
The older we become, the more dating/relationship history we leave in our wake, like a jetliner leaves a vapor trail in the sky.
Never a more blatant statement of the obvious, right? Now, though, you are single, and in a sense you are your dating/relationship history. That vapor trail doesn’t evaporate as fast as you might like.
At one end of the spectrum is someone like me; never married, perpetually on the search for the right lady, cognizant of making the right choice.
At the other end is the divorced lady; maybe two or three failed marriages behind her, children, grandchildren perhaps, lots of relationshippy stuff going on.
The differences between us are enormous. To me, she looks to be careless with her judgement of males. To her, I look unwilling to take on commitment.
Interesting then that I am branded a “red flag” because I have yet to find my match by age fifty. Apparently the chaos caused by multiple marital failure is easier to accept than the person who successfully avoids such horrors.