Red Flag

The older we become, the more dating/relationship history we leave in our wake, like a jetliner leaves a vapor trail in the sky.

Never a more blatant statement of the obvious, right? Now, though, you are single, and in a sense you are your dating/relationship history. That vapor trail doesn’t evaporate as fast as you might like.

At one end of the spectrum is someone like me; never married, perpetually on the search for the right lady, cognizant of making the right choice.

At the other end is the divorced lady; maybe two or three failed marriages behind her, children, grandchildren perhaps, lots of relationshippy stuff going on.

The differences between us are enormous. To me, she looks to be careless with her judgement of males. To her, I look unwilling to take on commitment.

Interesting then that I am branded a “red flag” because I have yet to find my match by age fifty. Apparently the chaos caused by multiple marital failure is easier to accept than the person who successfully avoids such horrors.

Just The Facts, Ma’am.

Spending as much time in the car as I do, talk/advice shows naturally take my interest.

SiriusXM, the satellite radio company, has a good selection of these things. Mostly they cover the spectrum from agony aunt kind of feel-good stuff to the awesome juggernaut of commonsense and character that is Dr Laura.

Women, mostly, are the audience and participants. I learn a lot from listening to the problems the callers want to air, not so much from the nature of the problem itself, but from the way they are articulated.

Big generalization: women want validation and support.

Smaller generalization: women, just like men, will either know the right course of action or they will not.

Obvious generalization: knowing the right course of action is no guarantee anyone will do it.

Interesting note: the biggest difference between the women callers and the men callers is that the men will answer direct questions directly (for the most part.) Women often hear a direct question as either agreement, or an invitation to talk more.


Bimbo Eruption

In matters of the trouser, little evokes as much mock outrage as the bimbo eruption.

Frankly, I’m all for ’em. When some public figure – The Right Honorable Tiger Woods, some redneck from Arkansas – has to face his past paramours in public, well, what a delicious thing.

I write “in public” but in fact no-one actually has to face the women. We, the slavering public, are introduced to the so-called bimbos via lifted Facebook photos and  old yearbooks. The mock outrage part comes from the way defenders of these famous males seek to obfuscate and diffuse what is obviously going on here:

If you are a rich/famous/powerful man, you will be offered sex.

This is rule #5 in understanding male/female dynamics. You have what we want, and we work our entire lives to get it; if we have what you want, you get it. In the parking lot behind Perkins if you like.

That Character Thing

First kisses are electric. The questions a first kiss answers are:

* does she taste as good as she looks?

* does she have halitosis?

* does she have good technique?

* does she kiss back?

This last one is on the topic of continuation. Guys want to know more body contact is likely.

The question a first kiss does not answer is:

* does this woman possess sound character?