Where Are You Going?

From first meeting to stable marriage is a long and stimulating journey. When someone new arrives in your gravitational field, the longevity of the relationship is uncertain at best and a gamble at worst.

Once someone gets somewhat close and there’s a prospect of him or her being even closer, the dance of independence and proximity begins. How much do I want this person to be a part of my life? How often do I need or want them to physically be in my presence? Critically, how do the answers to those questions fit the other person’s?

The permutations of freedom and being together vary with every couple. For some, being in the same room is the key; for others calm comes from the frequency of communication (no matter where they are) and for others it will be both.

Figuring your own style is a start. How you accommodate the other will depend on how much you are prepared to change. As always.