Home and Away

Is dating the same as living together?

“No” is the answer, in case you are in doubt. And yet the mixing of the two continues, a circumstance that will continue to cause problems until we figure out the difference.

Romance is not domesticity. When put as plainly as that, no-one denies the difference. And yet the idea:

Let’s move in together…

…will be asked millions of times in the coming month.

What won’t be asked is:

You know, we get along on a romantic and fun level, how would we get along being together 24/7?

The answer, in case you haven’t guessed, is not to shack up. Shacking up is never a path to anything other than uncertainty. It is an experiment with utterly unknowable outcomes, except that if it fails, both participants will be diminished. Sometimes irreparably.

Being boyfriend/girlfriend is a game of home and away. This is not the same as home games only.

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