Funny thing about relationships. We think we want the person we see in front of us.

Wrong. What we want is parts of the person we see in front of us, plus some other stuff we’ve always dreamed about and a number of wish-list items that we reckon the other person can implement if they really want to.

Here’s where a deep breath is useful. Singlehood allows time for imaginations to roam free. Imagination is a wonderful resource, but fails us when introduced to the real world. People are flawed and imperfect in a universe of frustrating ways, so the less we dream the better.

Facing the discomfort of real people feels like disappointment until we turn the lens on ourselves. We are not perfect (when we’re being honest, in the dark of the very early morning) so where do we get off expecting others to be better than us?

Here’s a way to think: revel in the flaws. A thicker skin, more acceptance of dopiness, less taking things seriously, and, as I learned at the feet of a very wise man, don’t let anything bother you.

There. A recipe for calm quizzicality, and likely better relationships.

Leave a Reply