I’m Here for the Argument

Disagreements are probably a sign that we’re getting to know each other, peeling back the layers of our respective onions.

We’d have to say this is a good thing, given that we met as strangers and haven’t had the advantage of growing up together or school or work or project time together. Peeling back onions is what “getting to know you” means, I think, unless we are actually two-dimensional figures or muppets. Which is not beyond the realms of possibility; I’ve dated muppets and people who turned out to be line drawings.

Unless you are a particularly sweet onion, exploring your inner layers (and mine too) will involve tears at some point. Whether those tears result from frustration, rage, disappointment or cooking together with onions doesn’t really matter, it’s the nature of the fruit that we won’t always react positively.

Arguments – disagreements if you like – are the most testing of all the onion discoveries. When your ideas clash with mine, or another mechanism like, say, a disparaging tone, is at work, we could well rise to defend ourselves. In my experience, that’s how arguments develop, with a siege by both of both.

Resolution means listening, analysis and synthesis followed by shouts and ill-conceived verbal barbs. Fun, eh?

Every couple negotiates around all that stuff, but for best results, ditch your ego. Unless you’re right, of course.

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