Just prior to a first date starting, we can characterize the mood of both parties as equal parts seeking to persuade and willingness to be persuaded. No, it’s not always that balanced, but let’s play the hypothetical.

And then we meet.

Likening this moment to our universe’s big bang isn’t too far off the mark; a LOT happens in a very short period of time. Matter and dark matter are created, elements formed, light switched on and judgements made.

From that point the universe has two choices: it either does as our own, and continues to expand. In this case stars give us heat and light, the dust coalesces, gravity does what gravity does and elements become more complex. We get what you see around you.

The other choice is that it collapses. Or falls afoul of other mistakes and failings.

Dating isn’t quite so apocalyptic (although I can find people who disagree strongly with this.) Even if the stars don’t shine on a first date, they might on a second or third or tenth. And persuasion isn’t really a factor. We might think we can talk ourselves into creating something with the one we fancy, but probably not.

Only what we do counts. People are their patterns, not their promises.

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