Dating and coupling is an area of my life where the power lies with instinct, but success follows intellect. The best outcomes in my life arrive when I carefully select a little of each – instinct is good to acknowledge, but best served with a delicious logical gravy.
Combining the best of the animal side of ourselves with the individuality of our minds sounds like a straightforward deal, but I don’t believe for one second that it is. For one thing, the instinct/mammal in us is a relentless force. Because it’s inherent, the drumbeat of chasing to mate, chasing to mate, chasing to mate…well, you know what that’s like. Yes, the rhythm is different for males and females, but the horsepower keeping us going is that reproductive power plant deep in our DNA. And it’s shared indiscriminately between blokes and sheilas.
Aiming our social/smart side at the instinct/mammal is more of a short-term battle. if we’re going on a date, we can intellectualize the qualities we want to see, the outcomes that matter or the big picture of coupled life that we know is good. But that takes significant energy – like a burst of power from a laser beam – and by definition can’t last. Finding ways for the higher part of us to out-smart the down and dirty part of us is the challenge.
And it’s a challenge worthy of the time and effort, IMO. Yes, we could all operate 100% in the mammalian world, couple up for reproduction and then watch it all fall apart. But the rewards of using (and understanding) that bio-foundation and adding the satisfying and long-lasting constructs of higher intimacy make for an infinitely more valuable life.
Animal + Intellect, but not in the same proportion.