Sympathy and Solutions

According to the women I know, the generalization is accurate: Most men provide solutions. It is what we do. When presented with a set of facts, we automatically conjur up an answer best fitting the circumstance. So many of life’s challenges appear as algebra to us:

If x is this and this, and y is contingent and limited by this, solve for z.

And aren’t we happy we we do.

Unfortunately, men provide solutions that are not always useful, practical, valid or even wanted; this last being of prime importance because, men, women don’t want your solutions.

That’s worth repeating. Women don’t want our solutions. Our help might be intelligent, insightful and sometimes even right…but we’re fixing stuff that no-one wants repaired. Our answers will be mostly met with frustration.

Why frustration? Because ladies in our lives are not seeking answers. They probably know the best course of action in any case, so that’s not why they’re talking to us. What ladies would prefer is sympathy. Understanding. Expressions of care. Empathetic words. In short, they want us to feel like they do.

This is an ongoing mismatch between the sexes. Whether we blokes behave as we would naturally – by offering answers – or see matters from her perspective is up to each man. But I think you can figure where my opinion lies.

Some key phrases:

Darling, that’s awful. How could he say that to you?

Awww, and you worked so hard on that too. I’m sorry it didn’t work.

I feel bad that you’re sad. Here. I’ll get the tissues.

That bitch. Doesn’t she know that you could be earning twice as much elsewhere?


Leave a Reply