The early stages of coupling are about finding points of common ground. More specifically, it is about finding common points of attachment allowing you to stick close to form the best bond possible.
Two people with a mind to couple is – initially at least – like gluing dissimilar objects of unknown material together. Think of porcelain and porridge, or carpet and titanium. There probably are ways to keep them snug, but you might need to get creative.
We might like to then think of dating as figuring out what our potential partner is made of. That approach subtly shades the way we go about assessing the person. Are they made of pencil eraser or wood? Wheat germ or vinyl? Cat fur or band-aids?
Naturally, if you’re getting this detailed, each of us will be a bunch of different things. Which brings me to the other side of that equation: What are we made from?
Self-knowledge about our own constituent materials is vital, because it will determine what kind of glue is likely to keep us together with this new person. Oil and vinegar clearly won’t stick together unless salad leaves are also present, but paper and cardboard will work fine with readily available glue ie: techniques.
You get the point. The best coupling happens when there are a lot of points of commonality, especially with materials that like each other. The glue is then up to how much you are prepared to work.