Just as motive cannot be easily determined in a courtroom, discovering the intent of your fellow dater puts us squarely in a poorly defined area.
Daters do so for every conceivable reason. I just read an article about how dating websites like for you to be on a “dating treadmill”. Are we surprised? If every single person instantly found the right person, they’d all be out of business. In that way Match, Tinder and the rest are actually about you NOT finding a credible partner. Ah, sweet irony.
The success of online dating sites tells us that a lot of folks are on that treadmill. Dating will be a destination of itself to them, in that it’s a dead-end street. Can we agree that dating should ideally be about actually finding someone with the intent to couple?
Moving past the serial daters should be relatively easy. We then find the serial daters who are in it for just the sex. After that are the non-committers, those who just play at dating and then those who date whilst obligated elsewhere – cheaters, in plain language. All of these folks have intent that varies wildly from our own, and which should lead to immediate dismissal.
Saying “NO” to all these pretenders should be easy, not to say speedy.
Which then pretty much just leaves you, me, and a handful of others as the only well-intentioned daters out there. Wow. It can’t be that bad, can it?