If there is another way, I would like to know about it.
It is the natural progression of affairs, that we begin with the superficial and find our way to the deep.
The downside is coupling when the only glue is the trivial. Trivial glue isn’t durable. It is fine as a starter adhesive, but will eventually lose the ability to keep you together.
And yet facing the more important parts of ourselves and discovering them as a couple requires effort. Mining for deep necessarily means effort and time. Effort, time and a willingness to expose the good the bad and the embarrassing about yourself. Facing and stating the truth to each other about each other creates something sticky and worthwhile.
That’s what superglue is made from.