Standard anti-marriage rhetoric often goes along the lines of “…well, it’s just a piece of paper.” As my co-podcaster, Kregg, says, if it’s just a piece of paper, then why not go get one?
We might need a different way of looking and thinking about marriage. One way to do this is to keep the dynamics of your girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. Being boyfriend and girlfriend is, if you remember, a terrific way of living. There’s enthusiasm, delight, discovery, optimism and fizziness in one’s trousers – all in all a good place to live.
Imagine a marriage that feels like you did when you knew you’d found someone special, when you first started being “girlfriend and boyfriend”. THAT feeling is a real high. Marriage can be that particular high. Just add commitment and formality.
Think of it this way: If we stop portraying marriage as an end of the fun and more as bottled lightning, look at how your thinking about it shifts.
And a shift is all it will take. Forget the media’s awful representations of marriage as either stale dullness or conflict-ridden desperation. Let’s imagine getting hitched as turning single pages into a book; converting running water into seltzer; tomatoes and cilantro into salsa….okay, I hope you get the drift.
Marriage is an opportunity to make and keep a product greater than the sum of its parts. All that from seeing it as an upward turn on a relationship continuum…not as a sinking ship merely to be survived.