The whole concept is preposterous.
Look for someone. Find someone. Click with someone. Connect with someone. Swoon with someone. Decide about someone. Commit to someone. Remain with someone.
Try selling that to a bunch of venture capitalists and they’d laugh you right out of the elevator. Between floors.
And yet this remains our model. Against all the odds, most of us still want to find and stay with one right person. Is this nuts or what?
It’s only nuts if we don’t occasionally reflect on it. For instance, consider the character of the one you fancy. Character is important because the person you couple with today will change. They – like you, by the way – will find new interests, discover talents, take on projects. Time mellows people, or it fires them up, or it makes them philosophical or funny. People do not stop changing. The adorable one you fell for yesterday will be different next year.
But character by definition is solid. If your beloved has good character, they will remain fundamentally good, no matter how their periphery shifts. Relationships built on respect, admiration and delight in someone with a decent core are more likely to last.
No guarantees, but it’s as good as you’ll get. In my opinion.
*Picture of Mr and Mrs White from AMC’s Breaking Bad.