And What Should I Call You, Ma’am?

I sit here with an idea for a series of useful public gatherings for singles and the loosely-attached, stuck on a couple of points:

1. How to find the kind of single people interested in relationship ideas.

2. Figuring out if calling them “singles” is itself a turn-off.

This is a case where I cannot apply any of my own standards. Being single – and importantly, wondering what other people think of that – doesn’t occupy my brainspace at all. I care not what others think of my relationships. But something tells me that there is something of a social hesitation surrounding singles: mostly, of course, an attitude from the already attached.

Unfortunately, singles themselves are infected with this feeling of being lesser; as if your value as a person is related to someone else. We can be defensive.

The problem is that I cannot think of a better term than “single”. It is the clearest descriptor of our status. Anything else slips into the realm of euphemism, which makes people wonder why we need to parse the whole being alone deal.

On the other hand, I have a sneaking suspicion that whether you are single or with someone, the other side looks more attractive. The perennially dissatisfied fall into both categories, and I am probably one of them.

So, for the moment, I have a vision of interested people gathering to listen to experts and air out some thoughts on relationships and such. A vision only, though.

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