Take Me As I Am

It’s admirable it its own sad way. Limiting and probably mildly destructive, but still.

What am I writing about? The notion that people can take us or leave us based on precisely what they see.

Love me with all my faults, or walk away.

What you see is what you get, and if you don’t want it, too bad.

Take me as I am.

I’m too old to change now, so lump it or leave it.

These get stuffed attitudes are relationship defences. They are about defending a posture of blindness to the truth. State first-up that you have no intention of changing yourself or accommodating another person, and you can justify your singledom to anyone who cares.

I am alone because no-one can love me the way I want to be loved.

But no-one cares. Potential loves will walk away. They don’t care because we all know we can be better, even the self-protectors. Mature people understand that none of us is perfect, but that life is made more satisfying by working at getting closer. The humility of admitting to shortcomings signals insight. Making change, however small, is the basis of righteous admiration. Admiration is fuel for attraction.

My opinion is that it isn’t your dodgy past or bad habits or weird nose that keep you single. What keeps you single is insisting that someone else adopt your rigid attitudes towards your own potential. Keep your justifying biases, but don’t expect anyone else to pander to them.

Why should anyone else work harder at uncovering the best you than you?

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