Finding Your Triggers

By this time – maturity or somewhat beyond – we have figured out what grates our cheese. Whether it’s a messy house or the chewing of fingernails, a ton of little behaviors can grind against us.

Frankly, I wish I were different. Smoking is clearly a big thing. How dumb can you be? Inconsideration for others, the kind demonstrated every day on the roadways of this great nation is another. Consistently turning up late to agreed meetings is yet another. Why is your time more valuable than mine?

Yes, I would like to be able to take all of this without reacting, but I do not think that is possible. Maybe you are different…but probably not. You will have your own triggers, all of which I shall probably demonstrate on a first date.

On the flip side, self-knowledge of triggers means more accurate filtering of possible girlfriends. Awareness of what will cause friction allows us both to discern whether we can be two balloons in a space not big enough for two balloons.* If you are clear about what makes your teeth grind, that knowledge is power.

We’re gonna rub, but if we can do so without either one getting too hot, we might be on to something.

 

* This is my somewhat clumsy metaphor for a relationship. Think of two partially inflated balloons – you and me – that must fit into a box not large enough for those balloons to exist without touching. We do want to touch, natch, but with that pleasure comes the fact that we must both accommodate the other to prevent one balloon popping out of the box. You get the picture.

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