10,000 Hours

If I ran a relationship training program, I fear most would not pass.

Sidebar:

Although never married, my qualifications for offering such a service include sucking at being with women, knowing I do so and having spent a lot of time figuring out why. In theory, I know some useful stuff.

End sidebar.

People, men and women, wouldn’t pass because they would fail to complete the work. I would require them to spend time reading and writing, in group sessions and with mentors. Success requires effort, time, commitment and desire, and in our fast-food buy-it-now instant gratification world, few have the stamina.

For some reason the collective “us” think we are born with the right instincts to find and keep the right mate. My contention is that dating, interacting with the opposite sex and choosing the right person are all learned skills. Sadly, in my opinion, the most powerful influence on us is the modeling provided by our parents. Some of these people will be excellent role models…but many are not.

So in the absence of good examples in our early lives, the next alternative is to learn how to be a good relationshipper. Yes, I believe that we can study to love and be loved.

First, I’d start with some required reading…

…but what am I thinking? No-one reads books any more. I’m crazy.

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