Match Me, Dammit.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker,
Make me a match,
Find me a find,
catch me a catch
Matchmaker, Matchmaker
Look through your book,
And make me a perfect match*

Here’s what a matchmaker does: The matchmaker meets you. The matchmaker makes an assessment of you. The matchmaker keeps you in mind as he or she idles through her rolodex of other match-seekers. You then receive one or more of the resulting recommendations.

Oh, and at some point you pay money.

You can see the three glaring flaws in this plan, right?

Firstly, who the heck can analyze me – handsome, complicated, adorable, quirky, strong, proud, independent me – in a few minutes?

Secondly, even if you could characterize me accurately, how do you know what kind of woman would be a perfect match?

Thirdly, and most importantly, the entire success of this enterprise (from a customer’s viewpoint) rests on the quality and size of that rolodex. Just how bulky is that thing?


* Quoted from “Fiddler on the Roof”. Lyrics by Sheldon Harnick reproduced with thanks.

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