Men Think Like This

It’s a settled matter now with Midwest: she doesn’t understand how men think. Time and again she’s surprised when I tell her that:
– the guy has absolutely no opinion about her new jeans.
– he was just as happy with the old hair color.
– he could care less about a couple of pounds you lost from your arse.

And ……….god that Tara Reid’s got a great set.

Whoops, that was me thinking out loud. Being a guy I guess.

But she just can’t figure it out. Let me illustrate.

We’re hanging out on a Saturday, tooling around Crate and Barrel looking at furniture. Walking past another couple, MW thinks she notices we two guys exchange knowing ‘this blows’ looks. She comments, accusing me of conspiracy by smirk. I’m baffled at this, and think ‘what other guy?’

As every man who has been out shopping with a woman knows, I hadn’t spent the morning comparing sectionals with chesterfields. I wasn’t contemplating whether cream’s nicer than taupe. And I’m sure as hell not swapping knowing looks with other guys. What I was doing was checking out the all the wives and girlfriends, head to toe, as discreetly as possible. What Midwest saw was me scoping out the other guy’s girl, and him checking out MW. It’s that simple.
So ladies, next time you’re out shopping with a guy and you ask his opinion, don’t be surprised when he looks absently into the distance and mumbles ‘….is that a thong she’s wearing?’

He’s just telling you what he’s thinking.